Author: Melissa Stanton
Publisher/Price: Seal Press [$15]
Perfect For: Any mom who has felt she has the best job in the world, and the worst job in the world, all within a two minute time frame.
On page one of The Stay-At-Home Survival Guide, Melissa Stanton says that this book is not for those moms for whom "Being a Stay-at-Home mother is an entirely magnificent, totally blissful, always fulfilling, happily-ever-after dream come true." Thankfully not; this book is for the rest of us, because for many Stay-at-Homers, that statement just doesn't ring true, at least not all of the time . . . or even most of the time. In reality it is a see-saw of emotions with extreme ups and downs. On the same page, Stanton, a Stay-at-Home mom for more than six years, recognizes that this job we do creates many moments of feeling "overwhelmed, overworked, unappreciated, and under-compensated. And all that's before the 9:00 am start of the traditional workday." Sound familiar? It did for me, and I was immediately immersed in this comprehensive guide for all of us who experienced a wee slap in the face when we realized just how very difficult this really was.
When it comes to practical advice, The Stay-At-Home Survival Guide covers a wide range of information. From simple ways to keep track of the medical records of multiple children, to time-savers for cleaning house, it is extremely helpful on the logistics front. But it goes beyond the everyday grind and gives in-depth discussions of pertinent but less obvious topics as well, such as dealing with isolation and making mom friends. I particularly appreciated the section on "Money Matters," which provides excellent explanations of Social Security benefits, retirement plans, and life insurance, and specifically how these apply to those of us working without an income. And, ahem, chapter eight is entitled, "Sex and the Stressed-Out Stay-at-Home Mom," and that's all I'll say about that one . . . except that it also has tips, like, good ones. I'm just sayin'.
More than just practical tips, though, this book is well-researched, thoughtful, and supportive. It is an excellent mix of Stanton's personal experience and viewpoint, the ideas of experts and other authors, and the results of a 40 question survey from over 60 Stay-at-Home mothers, all of which are flawlessly interwoven into the content of the book. As I read the quotes of these other moms, I remembered thinking, or saying aloud, so many of the things they candidly shared. One of the best things about the Survival Guide is that it constantly reminds us that we are not alone, that we are not bad mothers for having some of the feelings we have, and seeing that sentiment come from so many others, and Melissa Stanton herself, successfully drives that point home.
Stanton also is incredibly persuasive when emphasizing the value of what we do, despite the fact that our society often tells us otherwise. In chapter one, "The Best of Times, The Worst of Times," she discusses, with great clarity and reasoning, some of the recent publications and cultural views that criticize a mother's choice or need to stay home. Chapter four, "Jack(ie) of All Trades," is a convincing section filled with statistics and applicable job descriptions that apply to our everyday life, proving beyond question that a Stay-at-Home mom is a resourceful, multi-tasking manager with an impressive skill set. It's nice to feel proud of what we do, and this book certainly helps to put things in perspective and offer solutions to so many of the issues we face as Stay-at-Homers.
-Beth
